January 10, 2006

Our first family session went well yesterday. I think. She was sullen and quiet to begin, but she would talk quite a bit when the therapist would ask her questions. She wouldn't make eye-contact with us, but it's still early in her treatment. And the therapist didn't make us feel like failures as parents. I think, deep down, that I was fearful of that. Maybe I still am. Maybe that's because I feel like a failure as a parent.

They are doing daily body checks on her to make sure there are no new wounds. That has got to be hard for her. The therapist said they were impressed by just how extensive her scarring and wounds are. That breaks my heart. I knew there were a lot, but I'm sure there are more than I can even comprehend.

Her concentration level is really low right now - her mind must just be so full of thoughts and confusions. She's having an awful time staying focused. She studied her math last night for over an hour and just can't seem to wrap her mind around the concepts that have been so familiar and natural to her all these years. It's painful to see. I wish I could just kiss it and make it better for her. Why can't I just kiss it and make it better?

This morning was ok. She seemed in a fairly decent mood, all things considered. I hope it's a good sign for the day.