Day One

It's a hard, hard thing to admit that you don't know how to make your child feel happy or safe or wanted or any other loving emotions a child should feel.

Today we enrolled our oldest child into a daytime care facility for troubled teens. It's like being committed to a mental hospital/treatment facility only without the overnight stays.

She's a cutter. Self harm. Self mutilation. She needs help we just can't give. Help I wish more than breath that I could give. It's tearing me up. This beautiful, intelligent, talented, witty breath of life that I created - blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh - and I can't help her. At least we can get her the help that she needs and provide to her a safe haven while she learns to love herself again as we love her.

Please ... let her learn to love herself.

Please.