August 24, 2006

She had a relapse Tuesday night. I just found out about it last night. I understand why, I guess. At least the triggers make sense - fight with her boyfriend, starting college, moving, etc. And she hasn't been able to see her therapist in weeks - and even she recognizes how much she's needed to see him. She has an appointment with him today. I hope it helps.

It breaks my heart when she does this, but I still see that she is making progress with it. This time it was one cut and she came to us the very next night about it and she is planning on talking to her therapist about it and the reasons/triggers for it. She's not hiding it anymore. I don't mean that she flaunts it, but she talks about it and her stresses and wants to get better and stronger and to stop. This gives me hope for her.

I wish I wasn't one of her triggers. I wish I could ask about her day without her accusing me of being nosy or a nag ... or both. We can talk about sex or spirituality or theology or politics or the supernatural or the price of tea in china, but the minute I ask about work or school or "what's your schedule like," I'm the bad guy again. It frustrates the bejeebies out of me. I'm not trying to be controlling at all. I just want to know what's going with her.

August 23, 2006

Wow. Just ... wow. She's a college student now. It feels like 1st grade all over again. I spent that day in tears, too. She's all grown up and running headfirst and full-speed towards her future. She wants to be a physicist. She is amazing.

Wow.